On the utter impossibility of getting anywhere in the Midwest

Gentle, gentle readers, I have a conundrum on my hands.

I have a trip planned to the midwest. First, to my Alma Mater (Iowa City), then to my ancestral homeplace (Council Bluffs, Iowa)

I had intended to fly into Minneapolis, spend the night there and then motor to Iowa City with associates, but those associates can't make it. So I am stuck finding a way from Minneapolis to Iowa City. In researching my options, I have found nothing but grim alternatives.....

I can fly to Cedar Rapids or Waterloo, but that is ridiculously expensive, and requires a transfer in either Chicago or Milwaukee - or both!

I can rent a car, but that is almost as expensive, and still needs to be dropped off in Cedar Rapids.

I can take - gulp - a bus, but that means leaving at something like 5am (which I am never prepared to do) and arriving in Iowa City at 8pm, which is unsatisfactory for my prior engagements.

Even my darling Amtrak can't help me. I'd need to get on a train, spend the night in Chicago, get on another train, and get off in Mt Pleasant, which is sixty miles south of Iowa City. (Can you believe I used to ride my bike between those two places? If I tried that now, I'd undoubtedly break a hip and have a heart attack in the first twenty feet)

Public transit options in the midwest are appalling. How DO you people get around without a car of your own? How does one travel graciously without breaking the bank?

But, on a plus note, I am quite excited to have booked a room at the Minneapolis Westin, which is housed in the repurposed Farmers & Mechanics Bank Building - an Art Deco masterpiece that I often admired from the skybridge when I lived there. And while in Iowa City, my address shall be the Sheraton, which in my college days was a Holiday Inn (I tred to secure accommodations at the Iowa House, but alas, they were full)

But we shall manage. As I type this, I am exploring the possibility of purloining one of those railroad handcars, and just making my way on my own.